Boy & Girl smile for the day

"Consoles" her
But when a boy cries ---------- Come on man don't be A "Girl"

If A Girl slaps a Boy ----------- Definitely the Boy would have "done something"
If Boy Slaps a girl ------------ -- Rascal doesn't know how to "Respect Ladies"

If a Girl is talking to Boys ----- She is "Very Friendly"
If a Boy talks to a Girl ---------- He is "flirting"

If a Girl meets with accident ------------ -------- Then its "mistake of others"
If a Boy meets with same accident ------------ Bloody you "don't know how to Drive"..

Singh Smile for the day

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Boss: Where were you born?
Singh: Punjab ...
Boss: which part?
Singh: Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab .

Singh were fixing a bomb in a car.
Singh 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Singh 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Singh: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Singh: Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Singh joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Singh: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one...

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is all India Radio!

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?

Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child


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Banta Theory smile for the day

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Banta's theory : Moon is more impt. than Sun, coz it gives light at

night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!

Banta and Santa are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the

other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

Babta shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage

and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....

Banta and Santa looking at Egyptian mummy.

Banta : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Santa : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

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WOW Jokes

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Philosophy of life

At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as
GOD ,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!


What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams...!

Useful
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

Girl:
Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper:
Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl:
That's good, Give me 12 of them..!

After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an... opening for you...! "
Applicant:
What is it?
Interviewer:
Its called the "door..!"


A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Don't kill our Employee.... . Leave them to us

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cool smile for the day

An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:

"If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"

"Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present.. Its just that,
One loves too much, And
the other loves too many, "

"Employee:

Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS:
Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..! "

humour smile for the day

Groom's Father; I like your daughter, she is all rounder. I must admit, my son also all rounder¡¬¡¬ except¡¬¡¬ when he laugh¡¬¡¬ looks like a Dracula because of long teeth.

Bride's Father; No problem, I guess, your son will not have much time to laugh after marriage.



Wife; Pls tell your friend not to marry Sunita coz she is like a dazzalni.
Husband; no way, he didn't tell me anything ¨C when I got married.


Sardarjee 1; Sorry to hear yaar, your wife left with the driver.
Sardarjee 2; don't worry ¨C I can drive.


Publisher; Your handwriting too bad, can't u type and bring your script.
Writer; If I knew typing ¨C I wouldn't be writing.


1st guardian; I need to see the dictionary to read my son's writing.
2nd guardian; u r lucky, I need to see the bank passbook.


In Panjab engineers planed to make a swimming complex including 3 swimming pools, 1 for cold water, 1 for hot water and another empty for non-swimmers.

IT humour free smile for the day

Smart Consultant


One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk.
They were old buddies from Engg College, and they were together for a college reunion...

For no apparent reason, they went into this zoo and passed a monkey. Being in the same business and from the same college, there was a little bit of a peer competition going on between them - they couldn't resist testing themselves against each other.- especially the Infosys guy.

He said to the others: "Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?

" Why not, said the other two.

The Infoscion said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm".
By mutual agreement, the Infoscion took the first turn.
Being a pure logical strategist, the Infoscion tried to make the monkey laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still.

As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures... no good, the monkey stayed put...  Now, comes the TCS guy... being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him.

The other two were astonished.

How did this TCS guy manage to beat them? No way were they going to accept defeat so easily.

So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!" So there they went again, applying the same methods as before.

The Infosys guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again...

Then, the TCS guy whispered something into the monkey's ear and lo! It started crying, patting the TCS er's shoulder!

The other two just could not believe their eyes!

So the Infoscion said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run".

And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.
The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still no go.

So... here comes TCS guy, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death!

The other two surrendered. Said they: "OK, we give up. You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him.

"Well", said the TCS

"The first time I made it laugh, I told I work for TCS.
The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid...so it started crying.
And then I told that I was here for recruitment!!!

Wife and Husband Smile for the day

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Wife; you said, u fall in love 2nd sight with me, why?
Husband; 1st time I didn't understand your father so rich.


Dieing Husband; After my death u will marry Roger.
Wife; but he is your enemy.
Husband; I know, I suffered a long time, now his turn.


Wife; I am Beautiful, which tense?
Husband; Past tense.


Wife; Definitely, I was fool, that's why I married u.
Husband; Is that so, I must be blind in love, didn't noticed that.


Wife; If I die, will u marry again?
Husband; no, take a rest for a month.


1st Friend; My wife is an angel.
2nd Friend; U r lucky, mine still alive.


Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/

A Blonde's New Job smile for the day

A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of two miles per day to remain employed. The blonde agreed to the conditions and started right away.

The supervisor checking up at the end of the day, found that the blonde had completed four miles on her first day, double the average! "Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out."

The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished two miles. The supervisor thought, "Well she's still at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet."

The third day however the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought, "I need to talk to her before this gets any worse." The boss pulled the new employee in and said, "You were doing so great. The first day you did four miles, the second day two miles, but yesterday you only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure? What's keeping you from meeting the two-mile minimum?"

The blonde replied "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the bucket."

Types of Man Smile for the day

Types of Man. ..


Before Finding a Girl - Spiderman....

After Finding his Girl - Superman....

After the Engagement - Gentleman....

After the Marriage - Watchman....

10 years After Marriage -Doberman.

Marriage and Love smile for the day

Love is holding hands in the street.

Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

sardar testing free smile for the day

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed
& Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!

********************************************************************

sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working,
He puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

Sardar free smile of the day

Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

Sardars Free smile for the day

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.

Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

Chinese Detective Free smile for the day

A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later he received this report:

Most Honorable Sir,

You leave house. I watch house. He comes to house. I watch he. He and She leave house. I follow. He and She go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss She. She kiss He. He strips She. She strips He. He play with She. She play with He. I play with me......... I fall off tree.

I no see.
No Fee
Chen Lee
Have a great weekend all

IT professional smile for the day

Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called


"Saints"

But now they are called.. " IT professionals "

Teacher student Jokes Free smile for the day

Teacher:"What is your name?".

Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

Santa doesn¢t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

Teacher student Jokes Free smile for the day

Teacher: (1)There is a frog, (2)Ship is sinking, (3)potatoes cost Rs 3/kg. Then, what is my age?

STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Teacher: Where does God live?

Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'

Teacher student Jokes Free smile for the day

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.

Teacher student Jokes Free smile for the day

Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.

Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.!

Free smile for the day

Wife; What will u do, if I die?
Husband; I will be mad.

Wife; will u marry again?
Husband; Mad people can do anything

Taxi Driver..Free smile for the day

Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

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Elevator free smile for the day

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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."

Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/

Why condoms come in 3-6-12 Packs.

Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/


A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.
Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,
"Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men.

One for January, one for February, one for March......."

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Installing Your Husband...

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Dear Tech Support,


Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate
***


DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.


Good Luck,
Tech Support

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Sunday school --Free smile for the day

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Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

Thanks
Naveen

Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/

Smile for the day 15th April 2008

Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/

Today smile is very important for us so to make u smile wider lets us have a joke on our famous sardar's

Sardar goes for admission of his son to school

School Admin :- we have to fill this form so tell me details asked

Sardar why not please

School Admin :- what is u r full name

Sardar :- sardar Harjit singh

School Admin :- what is u r kids name

Sardar :- Sardar paramjiit singh

School is your wife name

Sardar :- pammi

School Admin :- what is her whole name

Sardar :- her hole name we have not defined any name yet but we nickly call it as puddy puddy (pussy pussy)

Heehehehehheehehehheh

Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/

Smile for the day dated 14th April 2008

One day a small kid comes to me and ask me one question

Kid :- Uncle uncle all the birds which fly in air lays eggs

Uncle :- yes son 99% of birds which fly on air lays eggs

Kid :- Uncle uncle maximum human and animals who survive on earth give birth to babies.

Uncle :-Yes son 99% things living on earth give baby birth.

Kid :- Okay uncle tell me one thing which is that which Fly in air and give birth to baby on the earth.

Uncle :- after thinking a lot say no idea

Kid :- Airhostess

Hahahhahahahahahahaahhhahaha

:-)