Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
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Thursday, April 24, 2008
Elevator free smile for the day
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Why condoms come in 3-6-12 Packs.
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.
Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,
"Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men.
One for January, one for February, one for March......."
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.
Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,
"Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men.
One for January, one for February, one for March......."
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Installing Your Husband...
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
***
DEAR DESPERATE,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
***
DEAR DESPERATE,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Sunday school --Free smile for the day
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
Thanks
Naveen
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
Thanks
Naveen
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Smile for the day 15th April 2008
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Today smile is very important for us so to make u smile wider lets us have a joke on our famous sardar's
Sardar goes for admission of his son to school
School Admin :- we have to fill this form so tell me details asked
Sardar why not please
School Admin :- what is u r full name
Sardar :- sardar Harjit singh
School Admin :- what is u r kids name
Sardar :- Sardar paramjiit singh
School is your wife name
Sardar :- pammi
School Admin :- what is her whole name
Sardar :- her hole name we have not defined any name yet but we nickly call it as puddy puddy (pussy pussy)
Heehehehehheehehehheh
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Today smile is very important for us so to make u smile wider lets us have a joke on our famous sardar's
Sardar goes for admission of his son to school
School Admin :- we have to fill this form so tell me details asked
Sardar why not please
School Admin :- what is u r full name
Sardar :- sardar Harjit singh
School Admin :- what is u r kids name
Sardar :- Sardar paramjiit singh
School is your wife name
Sardar :- pammi
School Admin :- what is her whole name
Sardar :- her hole name we have not defined any name yet but we nickly call it as puddy puddy (pussy pussy)
Heehehehehheehehehheh
Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Smile for the day dated 14th April 2008
One day a small kid comes to me and ask me one question
Kid :- Uncle uncle all the birds which fly in air lays eggs
Uncle :- yes son 99% of birds which fly on air lays eggs
Kid :- Uncle uncle maximum human and animals who survive on earth give birth to babies.
Uncle :-Yes son 99% things living on earth give baby birth.
Kid :- Okay uncle tell me one thing which is that which Fly in air and give birth to baby on the earth.
Uncle :- after thinking a lot say no idea
Kid :- Airhostess
Hahahhahahahahahahaahhhahaha
:-)
Kid :- Uncle uncle all the birds which fly in air lays eggs
Uncle :- yes son 99% of birds which fly on air lays eggs
Kid :- Uncle uncle maximum human and animals who survive on earth give birth to babies.
Uncle :-Yes son 99% things living on earth give baby birth.
Kid :- Okay uncle tell me one thing which is that which Fly in air and give birth to baby on the earth.
Uncle :- after thinking a lot say no idea
Kid :- Airhostess
Hahahhahahahahahahaahhhahaha
:-)
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