Farmer Joke

A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?"

The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.

"Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."

"Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad."

"Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied.

"So what happened then?" the man asked.

The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."

"And then?" "Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."

The man laughed and said, "Again?"

The farmer replied, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So, what did you do then?" the man asked.

"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."

"And then?" "Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

"Hmmm," the man said and nodded his head. "So, what did you do?" the man asked.

"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in...

Some things you just can't explain."

Funny Indian Jokes

1. A small boy opens the door and looks at his sister's boy friend and
asks innocently "Every day you come to meet my sister , don't you have your
own sister"

2. What is cyclone? It is a smallest loan given by bank to buy a cycle:)

3. Innocent kid handling his breakup ... Main tumhe bhulne ki bahut
koshish karta hun, par kya karun mummmy roj BAADAAM khila deti hai. Aur muje
tumhaari YAAD fir see aa jaati hai

4. Pintu was having habit of eating nails of his hand, His parents sent
him to Ramdev Baba for treatment..... . . . Now Pintu can also eat nails of
his legs..

5. Teeth said 2 Tongue " If I just press u little hard, you will get cut.
Tongue replied: "If I misuse 1 word against some1, then all the 32 of u
will come out at once"

6. What is the height of flirting? When your love letter starts with . .
. . " TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN"

7. Ek aadmi ka ye sun kar heart fail ho gaya jab uski kaam waali bai ne
kaha Saahab "Orkut pe muje b add kar lo"

8. Dada (Grand Father): Beta ja paani le aa. Pota (Grand Son): Mai nai
laa sakta, mai game khel raha hun 2nd Pota (Second grand son): Rahne do dada
g, ye to hai he BADATMEEZ.... ... .. ... .. .. Ap khud he ja k le aao.

9. World's shortest poem.. Baba black sheep have u any wool? .. ... .. .
sheep: NO, get lost.

10. Gin : Kya huqum hai mere Aaka ? Aaka: Mere account me 10
crore rupiye aur katrina se shaadi 10 sec me karwa do. Jinn: Aaaka, huqum
karo...bakwaas mat karo !!!

11. Police: Oye, carparking ki jagah bike kyu park ki hai? Man: just
smiled and said "sirf do pahiyon ka farak hai UNCLE, aa jayenge

12. Ek dukhi aadmi bola: Aisi zindagi se toh maut achhey. Achanak yamdoot
aya aur bola : Tumhaari jaan lene ka huqum hai. Aadmi: lo kar lo baat, ab
insaan majaak b nai kar sakta.

13. A poor man of U.P catches a fish but can't cook due to No gas No
electricity No Oil Man puts fish back in to river. Fish comes up and shout
"Mayaavati zindabaad

14. A desi London k ek hotel me murgi khaane gaya lekin murgi ka english
word bhool gaya Waiter: What would you like to have sir ? Desi: 1 plate
Egg's mother!

15. Pathan Ladki se: I Love you ! Ladki:Tameez se baat karo Pathan:
Bismilllah Hir rehman Nir Reheeem, with due respect I beg to say that "I Love
you".

16. Gabbar : ye hath muje de de Thakur. Frustrated Thakur : Le le, mere
bhi le le, Kalia ke bhi le le, Basanti k bhi le le.Jai or veeru ke bhi le le
aur DURGA MATA ban ja.

17. Taj Mahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota.. Taj Mahal ko dekh kar
bola shahjahan ka pota. "Aaj apna bhi bank balance hota agar dada aashiq na
hota".

18. Galib ne GF ko date par bulaaya aur wo late aayi. GF: sorry, I am late.
Galib: Falak pe chand sitaaron ko neend aa rahey hai, doossri ka time ho
gaya aur tu ab aa rahi hai.

19. Ek bachha door bell bajaane ki koshish kar raha tha. Ek old man ne
dekha aur bell baja di.Aur bachhe se bola: Aur kuch beta? Bachha: Ab bhaago.

Funny Jokes Morning

Q: In India, we have only postmen, but no postwomen, why?
A: Because, they take 9 months for delivery.


A tragic love story:
A Pig fell in love with a Hen. One day they kissed each other. The next day the Pig died of Bird Flu and the Hen died of Swine Flu.
Ajab Prem ki Gajab Kahani!


Annoyed husband: Today is Sunday and I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three?
Annoyed husband: For you and your parents.


When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.
Why should only I suffer?


A man was lost alone on an island. He decides to build a wooden boat. Suddenly a girl came there and the man used the wood for making a bed.
Moral- Situations can change ur aim !


Q: What is the difference b/w secretary and private secretary?
Ans: Secretary says "Good morning sir."
Private secretary says, "It`s morning sir!"



The winning horse does not know why it runs the race; it runs because of the whipping given by the rider. Life is a race and God, the rider. If you are in pain then think God wants you to win.


Why are American names like Jackson, Wilson, Markson, Robinson, Kenson, Anderson, Davison, Jemson?
So that mom can remember who is whose son.


Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.
2 hours later
Santa smses boss: Me OK, your wife very sweet.


Santa: I was stuck in ELEVATOR for three hours. Due to electric failure.
Banta: I was worse off. I was stuck on ESCALATOR for five hours.

Award winning poem

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “'Go to hell.”'

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts tequila, one part lime

Interesting Ads Free smile for the day

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale ... Cheap ... no strings attached.


Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!


Seen on a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.


When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking ... I Gave Up Reading .


My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses ...
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.


You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick! Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off.


Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance.'


Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.


Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.


The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.


Sign in a shop corner introducing new products:
Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.


Sign in a Hospital ward:
Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone.


The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.


Sign At A Barber's Saloon:
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.


A Traffic Slogan:
Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough
Or Else They Will Never Be.


Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment
Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.


Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlour Window:
Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here.
She May Be Your Grandmother!

Miss communication

Free smile for the day http://freesmilefortheday.blogspot.com/

Mr.Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws arms around his neck:
"I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have
a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we
can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Verma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad
Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs.Verma?"
"Yes...... speaking"
AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy .

"What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW ?????"
" Yes ............. We have a system of finding out who's overdue "

" GOD !!!!!!......... this is too much.........."
"Madam, I am sorry...! ... I am following orders.... I have to inform
you are overdue"
"I know that ....... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. ....
he will speak to your company tomorrow "

That night, she tells her husband about the Call, and he, mad as a bull,
rushes to AEC office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?
What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.


"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing
serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.


"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."